BREAKFAST ALONE

October 21, 2010

7:58 am

I am really going through my “silent stage” in my life now. I find myself wanting and even looking forward to times when I can be alone by myself wherever I am – be it at home, in the locker room of the gym, on my way to work. I just feel more relaxed and at ease when I don’t have to talk, when I can either just go to sleep or just stare at things from afar. Take for example now, as in THIS VERY MOMENT.

I am now at Jollibee in Walter Mart, Pasong Tamo, Makati City. I am too early for my work at the Australian International School today so I decided to eat breakfast first before going to AIS. I actually enjoyed eating alone – me with my corned beef, friend rice, fried egg and hot chocolate drink.:-) After eating, I still didn’t feel like moving so I decided to write about my episodes today.

I also had time to read quietly in my seat the book “Inner Beauty At Home” by Dondi Catan and Didi Marañon. I also was able to read some newspaper articles that I had cut last week.

This is actually my first time to do this and in this place, of all places! But it sure feels so good! What makes it even more meaningful for me is that I was able to pray – small intentions, short conversations with God, just thanking Him for something and everything, someone and then everyone.

I repented of the fact that yesterday I resented Hernan for offering to take Mommy with us to Market Market. He was supposed to have a meeting with Carol Narciso and Tess Dela Paz of Jollibee. I asked him then if I could go with him to Global City so I could check out some belly belts as well as beads that I need for my belly dance bra that I am designing now. I thought to myself it would be a good time also to just sit down somewhere and just read a book while waiting for Hernan to finish his meeting. Then, biglang kasama na si Mommy!

Honestly, it was a burden for me because I felt I needed to take care of myself muna. I don’t want to “babysit” Mommy or anyone at this time. Besides, Hernan never told me that he was going to ask Mommy to come along! However, when he graciously and patiently explained to me why he thought of asking Mommy if she wanted to come with us, I took it to heart and understood. But deep inside, nandoon pa rin yung feeling na sana sa ibang araw na lang kasi kailangan ko talaga ngayon ang mapag-isa muna.

Anyway, we got there and Mommy and I started to walk. We were so slow because of her, but you know what? I actually enjoyed the slow walk, looking at items in a more deliberate, less hurried manner which I would NOT have done if I were alone. Lo and behold! We were able to buy new blouses for her, plus some Christmas gifts which she would like to give to some people. We were able also to buy some clothes for Ninang Mameng, her sister.

At around 6pm, we were so tired from all the walking we did but I could see that Mommy had enjoyed herself. In my heart, I was truly happy that I was with her. I know in my heart that God had intended for both of us to be together yesterday afternoon, if only to teach me to be patient with others. I also realized that God is training me to deal with and take care of “oldies” since I am surrounded by them at home, in Kamias, in my parish.

Lastly, I realized that even if I am at the silent stage of my life now, life still goes on for others around me. People will still need me. People will still need to talk to me. People will still need me to listen to them, be with them. I need to go out of my comfort zone and reach out to those in need of my “quiet presence.” At least now, I know that I have a “quiet corner in my heart to go home to” anytime I need to be quiet by myself.

I was tired, yes, but my heart was joyful. Oh, by the way, I received some blessings – Mommy bought me two beautiful belly belts as a gift! Wow! Thank You, Lord!!! :-)

7 LESSONS I LEARNED FROM THE LIFE OF BING

Here are some valuable lessons I have learned from living the life of Bing Jimenez-Espiritu:

1. GOD LOVES ME IMMENSELY AND CONSTANTLY. I may falter in my loving God back, but He never does. He stays the same…and faithful…always.

2. HERNAN LOVES ME TOO. I know it was never a contest, yet many times over before, I would work so hard at showing my love for Hernan that I have forgotten how it is to be on the receiving end of love, of a loving relationship. It is not too late to bask in the love and devotion that Hernan has for me.

3. NO MATTER HOW BAD THINGS ARE, WITH GOD EVERYTHING ALWAYS ENDS UP IN GOOD. Even the most painful, sinful and ugly events in my life are all part of a bigger picture…a picture that has a good purpose for it in the end.

4. I AM ABUNDANTLY BLESSED. I need only to have a genuinely thankful heart so that I will be able to see these blessings, no matter how small and routinary they may be.

5. WORKING HARD IS GOOD. BUT WORKING SMART IS BETTER! It is good to know what I can do. But it is equally good to know who I can turn to for help – resources, people, materials, expertise. Planning and time management are also important. But then it’s also important to have allowances for serendipity or “accidental learning” because it lends an interesting twist in the work

6. NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT MY BODY, I HAVE TO LOVE IT AND BE COMFORTABLE WITH IT. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I will never be able to please everyone, so better to love my body. I will take care of it. I will nourish it. I will nurture it. It is the only one I have and will ever have. And most importantly, it is the Temple of the Holy Spirit.

7. ASKING FOR HELP OR RECEIVING IT DOES NOT MAKE ME LESS OF A PERSON. In fact, it really makes me more human because I realize that I cannot do everything and be everything to any one person. No one is so rich that he cannot ask for or receive from others. And no one is so poor that he cannot give to other

Bubbles

Bubbles! Bubbles! I love bubbles!

In fact, I remember my childhood days. Roy, my younger brother, and I were so young then. During summer, we would be out of the house right after breakfast and we would be playing with our neighbors and friends in the street.

We never got tired of gathering gumamela leaves. Then we would get some Tide laundry powder from the house. Dinidikdik namin yung mga dahon tapos yung katas pati na rin yung durog na dahon, hinahalo namin sa Tide at tubig. Then we would get some twigs and fashion them into rings with handles, dip them into the gumamela-Tide solution…and presto! We can blow our bubbles away!  We had so much fun doing that.

But then of course, I grew older and forgot all about it. Then this year, I was assigned to take care of our Teachers’ recognition Day in Esteban International School for February 12, 2010. For that occasion, we were to have an Awarding Ceremony, but the awards are fun awards. Yun bang tipong Mr. Close-up Smile, Mr. Superman, Ms. Congeniality, etc. Anyway, I was also tasked to describe each award and to buy the prizes to be given to the awardees. For the title “Mr. Congeniality,” I bought some bubbles because they are symbolic of a pleasing and sunny disposition, a “bubbly” personality. Then when I was already at home trying to wrap the awards, I decided to “test” the bubbles. So I blew some…and then some more…and some more again…and again…and again…and again…Hala! Di na ako matapos-tapos sa bubble-blowing!

I was hooked again! And happily hooked I was So now that I have rediscovered the fun in bubbles, I actually have a stash of bubbles in my room. And when I feel like it, when I am sad, or when I am stressed, or tired, I would blow bubbles in the room or in the veranda, allowing the wind to bring the bubbles to wherever. At one time, I blew bubbles and they floated down the stairs. Hernan and the kids were downstairs in the sala. I heard Hernan exclaiming, “Mama is at it again!” At that, I just shrugged and smiled, and blew some more bubbles…again…and again…and again…

Bubbles, anyone? 